My Trump Medicare Bribe Has Not Arrived

Ben Cline conjuring the gas he plans to light.

Here is a letter I am sending to my congressman:

Dear Congressman Ben Cline,

Your newsletter says you help constituents with government problems. I hope you can help

with mine.

My wife received $90 and a letter from President Trump saying the money was her Trump

Medicare Bribe. We gave the money to Beth Macy, your Democratic opponent.

I just checked our bank balance, and my Trump Medicare Bribe has not arrived;.

Could you please help me get the money that is due to me?

I really need the $90.

Everything is so expensive these days. Last week I paid $5 in a restaurant for a tiny bottle of ginger ale. Maybe it was imported and there was a tariff.

I traded in my Toyota truck because it cost $79 to fill the gas tank. Why didn’t you vote

against the war with Iran?

At lunch I discovered my wife paid $15 a pound for roast beef. I thought Trump was importing beef to lower prices? I’ll bet my farming neighbors don’t like the competition.

Election Day is only a few days away. How can constituents vote for you if we don’t receive

our bribes on time? You need help to beat Democrat Beth Macy.

I know you and Mr. Trump are buddies, because you always vote the way he tells you to.

Please use your influence to send my $90 Medicare bribe.

Thank you very much for your attention to this matter.

Reese Bull